The BETTER AGREEMENT GUIDE™
BETTER RELATIONSHIPS are in The BAG™
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AGREEMENTS WITH YOURSELF
I start off this section with two quotes to emphasize the idea that in personal relationships with people we deeply care about, it is not always easy to take care of yourself. Agreements are a way to do that. They require you to be appropriately assertive, taking care of both others and yourself. They require you to have clarity about designing the future of the relationship. They require commitments to action, setting standards, and expressing fears and concerns. Here is an example of using the agreement model to set a goal. Agreement for Creating My Perfect Job 1. Intent and vision: My intention is create my perfect job, a job that uses all of my skills and competencies. The vision I have is that my creativity will be fully engaged. I will be part of a high energy team that is working on a project that satisfies my need to innovate and to make a social contribution. 2. Roles: I will be the visionary, change agent, muse, and driver of the project. Others involved will be co collaborators working in a collegial way. Everyone working on the project will have a unique contribution to make. We will have a finance person, a project manager, a benefactor, and a sales person. 3. Promises: I promise to be vigilant in my search to gather the resources for this project, to seek out people who have similar aspirations, to listen to my inner voice and allow it to guide me to necessary resources, and to stay conscious of the social benefit and maintain that vision. 4. Time and value: This goal embodies my life's work. The return is worth the effort because of the value that will be provided to others. I will be engaged for the rest of my life. 5. Measurements of satisfaction: The energy of engagement, the feedback from others, the level of efficiencies created from operating within a new paradigm, higher levels of productivity, and the emotional cost savings of operating in the old paradigm. 6. Concerns and fears: That I will never develop this project or team. 7. RenegotiatIon: Ongoing and constant. 8. Consequences: I will not be filling my life purpose, those I could be delivering benefit to will not be served, or I will not have the satisfaction of being in and delivering the value of my best work. 9. Conflict resolution: I will use the Seven Step Resolutionary Model. 10. Agreement? Yes, I am committed to make this happen and I will stay in dialogue about it! To most people, the idea of making an agreement with themselves is foreign. It falls in the category of making New Year's resolutions. When teaching, it's the first exercise I ask people to do after explaining the idea of agreements for results. It is an excellent way to get comfortable with the elements of agreement so that when you start working with others you have an understanding of the model, as well as having the experience of using an agreement with yourself. I ask people to think of something they have been putting off for a while; something they have wanted to do or accomplish. The benefit people realize is seeing a way to organize their thinking. Summary: Making an agreement with yourself is an excellent way of organizing your thinking about something you want to accomplish. The model draws out your vision and the road map to that vision. It provides a path to what you want to accomplish. Exercise: Think of something you have wanted to accomplish but have been putting off for a while. Make an agreement with yourself about how and when you will accomplish the goal. |
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